The Laotong

Sworn Sisters
"A tie that binds";
as written in a movie commentary in the Star; 24th December 2011.

Lisa See digs deep into the Chinese people; she reveals the way of life, thoughts and culture of the Chinese profoundly. So, if you want to know the Chinese way of thinking, read her books. Each book will tell of a different aspect of the Chinese. I have finished Snow Flower and the Secret Fan while flying in and out of Melbourne during the last break and thought I should share some of my feelings.
Grace bought the book and passed it to me. This is one of my investments in her life; life long reading. When she was a little girl I used to read to her diligently. I remember holding all kinds of books from nursery rhymes to short stories and read to her every night before bed time. So she is a reader today because of I believe a little of my time investment. Young mothers; read to your children. Of course today, she reads faster than me what with her younger eyes.


I have also watched the movie; downloaded by Esther as a special Christmas request. The movie is starred by 2 beautiful ladies; in particular Li Bingbing who has that forlorn and faraway look ; so bewitching. But I must admit that your understanding of the movie will definitely be more enhanced if you have first read the book. Many thoughts, practices and feelings are portrayed in the book. I want to talk about the 'laotong' part.
This is the first time I have been made known of the Chinese practice. Apparently, in Olden China it is common to pair 2 females for a life long friendship called the laotong. The partnership will mean that the 2 female friends would share from all aspects of life; family practices, foot binding, love life, marriage, children and everything else. Nothing was not to be shared.
So in the book, Snow Flower and Lily were paired and became laotong. So the friendship began right after the foot binding days ; about seven or eight of age and how they shared their emotions and way of life. Lily was the more fortunate one as she was married into a more high standing family and so she had easier times; foot binding was a criteria for a good husband; the smaller the foot , the higher the chance of getting a good family to marry into.
Snow flower married a butcher; had more miscarriages; had more daughters to her detriment and she seemed cursed.
The story went on to reveal how after so many years into their adulthood, the laotong friendship still stood strong and even concorded a scenario whereby Lily had to put up with Snow Flower for months when a civil war broke out. Lily was separated from her immediate family and stayed with Snow Flower and her family in the mountains braving chilly conditions and snow. Lily stood by her laotong all through the difficult days of hunger and food rationing and how she cried when Snow Flower lost her husband's favorite son in the hard conditions. She saw how the butcher beat and slapped Snow Flower and the plight of a woman and the curse of a dead son.
Later when peace came and Lily was reunited with her family, there came a time when Snow Flower lied to Lily and the discovery of it broke the laotong love of Lily for the former. In spite and despite all that were spoken, done and broken, Lily finally was at Snow Flower's bedside before the latter breathed her last.
It spoke of a friendship which lasted for decades and the integrity of a sworn promise...till death do they part. Integrity and true friendship. It is hard to build and nurture in this modern time. People don't have the time; many feel that there is no necessity; for those who feel this way, the book will have no meaning and no impact. Reading the book will also mean deciphering through the values of olden times. Do people today still want that ? In love and friendship?

The Laotong is a cultural practice that has revealed much to me.
I enjoyed the book more than the movie; but I love to look at Li Bingbing.